The song of the Bulrush and the Stream.

Teased into a breeze leaning with nature’s wand, majestically stood the bulrush frond.
Horse close by grazed grass to root, summer played with summer’s lute.
New growth, golden field’s, patch-worked corn, silken-shaded waters filled with spawn.
Under fine oak, escaping sun’s gaze, stream waters twinkled under musical rays.
Greened-fence wood, only as lichen could, felt warm under hand – so good.
Gentle cascade, wetness played, pebble and water a melody made, singing of the stream sang a serenade.
Bulrush continued in breeze to lean, guard of gentleness to babbling stream.
Wilderness cacophony to me a dream, fullness of life a variation on a theme.
Still the bulrush mighty and strong protects waters journey, gentle and long, stands guarding the most beautiful song.
Distant days of summer past would ever make a memory last, yearning to hear as before, melody of bulrush and stream once more.



Ghost Story 12.27.09

Deep asleep something awoke me
LCD blinking red at 3.33
Turning over to drift again,
Suddenly my blood began to drain
Something brushed passed my head
An indentation noticed on bed.
As I watched in shadow-dark night
Trying to pull the quilt up tight
Indentation moved closer to my face
Veins pulsed, heart raced
With a tug the quilt gave way
I begged the night to turn to day.
Room ice-cold, something there
Unable to peek, unable to dare
With a sharp yank, my quilt pulled away
A shivering wreck where I lay
End of bed stood a dark shape
Petrified I could only gape.
A face was I unable to see
Sudden urge to need a pee
I begged and prayed, leave me to be
Dark form was watching me
Within it’s hand held a rose
At this point my eyes to close.
Next morning relieved it was all a dream
No night visits, nothing had been
Getting up, glad of the light
Pulled quilt back I had a fright
For there lying in perfect pose
Next to me lay an elegant red rose


My Angel’s Hair 12,27,09

Sleepy head gentle upon chest
Shallow breathing tender rest
Soft breeze of exhaled air
Dancing lightly with chest hair.

Where has your dream taken you?
Mind’s wandering I wish I could view
Warming feel of your body heat
Love for you is so complete.

Gentle tremor, your dream grows deep
How can happiness make one weep?
Watching you drift on coastless sea
Knowing you are the vessel for me.

Your sea of dreams claims me too
Hoping as I drift to drift with you
Together we shall sail there
My fingers caress my angel’s hair.



What I miss 12.26.09

The peal of distant Worship Sunday bell
Awakening to fresh lavender smell
Shoe of horse coming down road
Blankets of oilseed rape sowed

Knock-knock of Woodpecker Bill
Far off look at muted Malvern hill
Cotswold Honeyed cottage of stone
High up sound of airplane drone

Piles of autumn upon garden to rake
Boat oars splashing waters’ lake
Dinner of Sunday smells the air
Shouts from Mum ‘don’t you dare’

Excited cries of last man wicket
Village greens filled with cricket
Conkers sought by eager boys
Never tiring of nature’s toys

Hamlets filled with timber and thatch
Steely sound of back-gate latch
Sweet serenade, evening blackbird
Farmer calling in bedtime herd.

I’m far away from all the above
The childhood I grew up to love
But I shall never be far from home
Memories will make me never alone.



Christmas Dinner

There’s panic in the kitchen
From the cook comes plenty a bitchin’
Stupid bird won’t fit in the cooker
Frantic hands push, ‘get in you bastard fucker’
It’s like a reverse birth
Bloody turkey has too much girth.
Finally it concedes defeat
Minus drumsticks, breast and feet.

Now to relax with a glass of sherry
To Enjoy family and to be merry.
Oh no! Yet to do the sprouts, gravy and sauce
Never mind the first course
Frantic knife work, one pint of blood lost
Can’t believe how much this has cost
Less Band-Aid on radio, more on hand
The kitchen is by far under-manned.

Sprouts now done, cooked to a green pulp
Another glass of sherry, another deep gulp.
Chef by now very red in the face
Looking like he’s been sprayed with mace
Still, the gravy looks good, one lump or two?
Starting to think Christmas dinner will be stew.
All the vegetables are now well done
Where’s the sherry – give me some?

Family arrive with plenty a colourful smile
Trooping to the tree in single file
A percussion of clattering comes from the food area
Chef is looking funny, has he got malaria?
Presents opened, socks, hats and Susan Boyle are exchanged
Guests unknowing that Christmas dinner has been rearranged
Chef stumbles from the kitchen completely drunk,
‘Cappy Histmas all, I’m pissed, turkey’s fucked, anybody for skunk?


A stranger’s Story 12.26.09

Watching the swans upon river glide
Frenzied motion beneath still waters hide.
Late solitary leaf fell to the ground
Distant bird broke silent sound
Somewhere afar a bark from a hound.

Sitting upon faded bench alone
Beside me came sat a man unknown.
A silence between us fell
My curiosity I could no longer quell
For this man – he had a story to tell.

Strange man beside me began story told
Which left me feeling decidedly cold
‘I need to tell a listening ear
What I’m about to say has left me in fear
For the meaning of which is not clear.’

He told me he’d awoken in late autumn grass green
In a place he’d never seen.
A churchyard in which he’d awoken
Where words are no longer spoken
Upon graves the living leave their token

Getting up, he looked around bemused
Completely bewildered, completely confused
He walked to a moss-covered gravestone
The name of which was to him known
For it was his own.

Hearing his story I turned to speak
At that point I grew weak.
Upon my neck stood up did the hair
I had just experienced something very rare
For no longer was the stranger there.



My last lover December 26th 2009

Gentle caress of fingertips
Coolness of breathing
Kiss upon my lips
Shallow heart-beating.

You’ve become my best friend
My last lover in living
Your love to me you send
All I have to you in giving.

Your want for me is oh so bad
Always by my side
The love you have makes me mad
No longer can I hide.

As my soul is gently taken
Whispers from my final breath
From living I'm about to awaken
Because my last lover…............. Is death.


My Dear Mother

To me outstretched in giving
Witnessed once died now again living
What you give in each open arm
Gratitude to you in hymn and in psalm

Head slightly bowed in humble servility
Your picture-perfect form of humility
I come to you every week
Inner-peace is what I seek

If only I could be grateful enough to see
A shy pose as you give what was yours to me
Only a mother in loss knows what you gave up
So we could drink from the shared cup.

Every week I gaze up at your spiritual form
And wonder how you managed to mourn
The loss of your son for the sake of me
How am I to make myself worthy of thee?


Recipe.

Recipe

A little bit of mum,
A little bit of dad
1 cup of good
1 ounce of bad.
2 Tablespoons of pain
3 cups of joy
Recipe unknown
For a girl or boy.
One pinch of wisdom
½ pint of luck
9 months of baking
1 very good cook.

Method:

Carefully fill the mum with the dad
And bring to the simmer
Blend the good and the bad
You should be on to a winner.
Add all the pain mix in the joy
Cook for 9 months for a girl or boy
Garnish with wisdom,
Add all the luck
Serve with brandy
And throw away the recipe book.




Empty Chair 12.20.09

Vase surrounded with colourless petal
Fallen from long-wilted bloom
Left to rest where they settle
No longer brightening darkened room.

Dust specks dance on slithered light
Curtains hide world outside
Life goes on but out of sight
Because within me something’s died.

Room is void of your breath
A glance across but you’re not there
Alone to live with your death
Eyes resting upon your empty chair.




Naivety 15th May 2009

A stone’s throw from where flies the crow
Deep in the trees where no waters flow
When sun goes down people afraid to go.
Lies a cottage of black and white
Quaint abode remains hidden from sight
Even in sunrise people take flight.

Out front sits an old stone well
Some say it plummets to the depths of hell
Hard for fear of locals to quell.
Fraying rope keeps the bucket upright
Flames licking can be seen at night
This cottage does not encourage an invite.

But in truth a dear old lady lives here
People have no right to rumour in fear
Just because she chooses not to live near.
That was until I got lost one day
Walking in the woods I went a different way
There’s little more for me to say.

Little old lady came and greeted me
Offered a warm sweet cup of tea
No harm in refusing that I could see.
So I accepted sat down and shared a drink
Now I find my soul is on the brink
For now I’m in a bucket that’s starting to sink

A curse upon the drink she’d made
Poison ran through veins to invade
For a sip of tea, my soul to trade.
So here I am in a bucket in a well
Sinking down to the flames of hell
Where it appears I am to dwell.




In a stranger’s dream is where I survive? May 15th 2009

I dreamt a dream of unseen faces
Took a visit to never-been places
Lived a night of dark and light
I slept a sleep, meaningful and deep
When I awoke as daylight broke
I began to think, is there a link?
Just maybe, when at night what we see
Could be another reality.

Sometime elsewhere, am I not here but there?
Somewhere another face dreams of another place
When they dream is it me that is seen?
Awaking in their dreamy mist
Do they wonder if I exist?
Only am I ever alive
In night-time visions they contrive?
In a stranger’s dream is where I survive?



After the storm. May 16th 2009

Distant drums of skies churning bellow,
Deeply sombre as Elgar’s concerto for cello
(In the day it was a classical hit,
If unheard of please google it).
Woken up to thunder and lightening,
Room lit up with electrical striking.
Heavy metal beat of rain on the roof,
Thunder far off remained aloof.

A walk decided but not wanting to leave her,
Fastened the leash and took out my golden retriever.
Air clear and fresh but with little chill,
Wind had died leaves remained still.
Gone was post-rain silence of dawn,
Birds sound different after a storm.
Chatted and twittered amongst their own
Fresh scent of lawn hit me just mown

Newborn buds evermore green,
Best time of day for colours to be seen.
Dandelion yellow far more bright,
Framed within wet grassy light.
Sky remained a Payne’s grey,
Setting the tone for the rest of the day.
A blur of squirrel ran up the maple tree,
Paying no attention to the delight of me.

Arriving back home happy and content,
Mother nature’s beauty to me she had lent.
Vibrant colour and beautiful sound,
The mood for the day I had found.
So here I sit writing how happy I am,
To be this soul within this man.
For although today cloud covers sun,
The day for me has just begun.



How Can I love you? April 2009


How can I love you if I can’t love myself?
Material poor but in soul I had wealth
Each night in dark silence pray to you proclaim
Hands clasped, lips uttered your name.
I’d close my eyes and hear you speaking
Now heart beats to the sound of silent weeping
Chosen path, barefoot taken
Nightmare I hope from to awaken
Please forgive me what else can I say?
I lost my footing I lost my way.
What it is to carry the cross of wood
How will I be able to turn this bad to good?
Condemned by my own human desire
Sulphur smelling purgatories fire

Please forgive me for my human error
Your silence to me - the worst terror
There was a time we’d converse every day
But now it seems I’ve sent you away
All I ask is to see once more
Your love for me was once so sure
Please I beg let me feel your embrace
So once more we may talk face to face
Living a life of constant regret
My life I offer to you in payment of debt
The path taken was the biggest mistake
A choice of remorse to ever make
In my choice I ruined my health
How can I love you if I can’t love myself?



To paint a sky March 21st 2009

Paynes Grey moods the day
Ultramarine makes it serene
Titanium White brings out the light
Whilst Ochre yellow makes it more mellow



Anniversary March 20th 2009

I had come to the theatre as a single
Alone by myself but content
Quite happy with strangers to mingle
Knowing not what their shared love meant
Barman asked me what I’d like to drink
Without even looking my way
Continuing to wash glasses in his sink
I became unsure what to say
After a long awkward thought
Deciding on something nice
A drink I had bought
Weakened with ice
Wandering on to the balcony
Surveying the open park
Rum and coke my only company
There you were resting against oak bark
Couples strolled in summer’s fading heat
Flies danced in the sun’s rays
A yearning for you I wanted to meet
Saddened to see you didn’t return my gaze
Brushing a fallen hair from your brow
Lost in the world of your book
Love for you then you’ll never know how
Consciously begging you to look
Stepping down I began to walk
Towards you I made my way
People around me continued to talk
I was oblivious of what they had to say
Approaching, a pang of lust and desire
A long time since this had been felt
Stirrings of an inner fire
Lonesome heart began to melt
Warming in the sun you turned another page
Kneeling down I saw a tear fall
Welling fear began to rage
Your name I wanted to call
Closing the book of you and me
You’re the love I’ve loved most
You looked but unable to see
A year to the day since I’d become a ghost



Alcoholic circle March 7th 2009

Unfurled smoke drifts up to the ceiling
A whisky glass sits on the table
Emptied of the alcoholic healing
Lone drinker no longer able

Morning sun catches floating specks
Rising up through rays of same
Curled paint leaves rusted flecks
Upon crazy paving window frame

Yellowed nails scratch upon stubbly chin
Groaning headache sighs with yawn
Coughing body far too thin
Round two starts just after dawn

Scrawny frame rises to a crouching sit
Reaching for what always is the last drink
As is with another cigarette lit
Unaware of his own putrid stink


The Man with the Attitude 02/14/09

I’m the one with the attitude
Passing you by in the corridor
You always think I’m being rude
As my eyes avert to the floor.
But if the truth has to be said
Your thinking is so far amiss
Every night, my last thought in bed
Is dreaming of sharing a kiss.
Far too shy to share my desire
I blush when you take a look at me
When inside my heart’s on fire
Imagining how things could really be.
So another day spent ignoring you
When really I want it all
I’ve felt like this with o so few
But I’m scared of the rejected fall
Please don’t think I’m ever being rude
When next we share the same space
It’s just that your love my fantasy has viewed
But I’m too shy to look in to your face.




Nipple Tape

What the hell possessed me a year ago?
I think this to myself as I stand in line
When that thought was had, how was I to know?
I’d now be wondering am I going to do fine.

Since that thought, many a night I have run
Trying to get myself to a physical peak
Now I’m about to start the London Marathon
Running with the best and the meek.

The man next to me, nods and offers support
‘Here mate better take this for your own sake’
I look down confused, he smiles with a retort
‘Don’t worry, it’s to stop bleeding, it’s nipple tape.’

Standing in line with 37 thousand other souls
I see a rhino, a cat even a hedgehog
Every one us all have our own goals
The man next to me is dressed as a dog.

So the claxon bellows, excited shuffle turns to a jog
Thousands line the streets to shout and cheer
I didn’t realise how hard this was to be a slog
But it’s electric, what a buzz, this atmosphere.

Miles pass by, people line up against walls to pee
A woman disappears into a roundabout hedge
This is a whole new experience for me
Looking up I see people leaning over their window ledge.

Then suddenly at 16 miles I run in to a wall
My legs cramp, body full of weights
I can’t possibly go on, I’m going to fall
Others are walking being helped by their mates

Legs cramp, delight at St. Johns Ambulance volunteers
Coming to the rescue, Vaseline deadens the cramps
Pains begin to subside, gone all failure fears
I don’t want to be still walking when on come the street lamps

I did the run, I made it to the bitter end
Managing to overcome the pain of hitting the wall
Nothing more joyous than rounding the final bend
Just under 27 miles and I didn’t fall.

Looking back on this fateful day
The best I could recommend you ever need
Contrary to whatever people will say
Get some nipple tape – it stops the bleed.



Just a man following his shadow

My travelling it will never cease
From England, Canada, Australia and Greece
Joining a monastery briefly found inner peace
T-shirt summers and winters in fleece
A modern day nomad fated to roam.
Forever destined to stay alone.
A rounded pebble in the stream’s flow
Just a man following his shadow

A family life, the experience is not to be
Never will my eyes from child look back at me
My only companion throughout the day
Always there but never in the way.
Diligently watching by my side
Only without sun does he hide.
How a bow is to an arrow
Just a man following his shadow

What I’d give to have family to share
Burden of travelled solitude is hard to bear
Continuing to wander these vast lands
Traversing wild oceans and heated sands
Fruits of life that should be shared
Mundane to extreme I have dared
In the freezing rain and summer glow
Just a man following his shadow

Love witnessed, but never one’s own
Rested in many places but yet to have a home
Languid beauty of deep winter sunrise
Never yet shared through others eyes
A pilgrim of life’s desolation
What it’d be like to feel loves elation
One true friend in the sun’s glow
Just a man following his shadow

So the journey continues on
One day my dark friend shall be gone
At last I shall be able to rest
Life’s wave, well, I’ve ridden the crest
The time will come when I won’t have anything to follow
I confess to not feeling any sorrow
For when the time comes I shall have to go
No more following of my shadow.





I Dined with the Devil

I dined with the devil, and he dined with me,
He turned and said, ‘so this is how it’s gonna be
You can look you can order, you’re free to choose
But in return your soul you’ll lose.’

I dined with the devil, and he dined with me,
I turned and said, ‘so how can I be set free?’
‘Only if I get up and I leave first
So go-ahead son and give it your worst.’

I dined with the devil, and he dined with me,
He turned and said, ‘so what’s it gonna be?’
I looked and smiled and ordered wine and bread
Took his hand and bowed my head.

I dined with the devil and he dined with me
My faith was something he didn’t foresee
Clenching his hand I uttered my grace
Thunder and lightening was upon his face.

I dined with the devil and he dined with me
I drank from the chalice of victory
He rose up fast spitting smoke and fire
Turned to me and called me a filthy liar

I dined with the devil and he dined with me
I turned and said, ‘so this is how it’s gonna be.’
“You can eat from my table if it’s your desire’
‘But don’t expect me to stoke your fire.’

I dined with the devil but he got up to go,
I turned and said, ‘ you really ought to know’.
‘Your soul I’ve claimed and taken with me
‘I’m Sorry but that’s the way it’s going to be.’





The Sea Claimed Me.

I left my tracks upon the sand
To be washed away by turgid salty spray
Wind danced with the horses manes
Night encroached the fading day

Crossing the windswept barren land
Looking out across the darkening ocean
Relentless waters galloped at me
In ceaseless swathes of motion

Bending down removing shoes
The cold sand blanketing my feet
Wind-chilled night moving in
Claiming the day’s remaining heat.

Horses continued to pound their hooves.
I walked toward them into the frothing sea
Feeling nothing but empty vastness
Looking back and seeing me.

There was a man on the beach waving
He held in his hand my shoes and socks
Jumping up and down frantically
He pointed, he pointed to the rocks

Turning away I waded some more
The white horses they had now turned to black
Embers of the day had long gone faded
For me there was no turning back

The darkened waters, they claimed me.
Ocean spray rode roughshod over my head
Darkness took me to a new light
Where the sea took me to its bed

I got up from where I watched the horses
In that moment, those waters, they claimed me.
Putting on my socks and shoes
I turned home, turning my back upon the sea.




Honey Dew

Come, taste the silver pearl of honey dew.
Rest with me, sip from the cup of dawn.
Rekindle the soul with warmth of yet risen sun.
Shake away the chill of night.
Rejoice in the new day born.

Pack up your dreams, come warm your hands.
Rub the night from your eye.
Cast away all night demons,
Savour the spirit of day.
Let night terrors pass you by.

Night has gone for another day.
Take the day’s hours and be true.
Follow your heart, but use your head.
And all that you meet,
Let them taste the pearl of honey dew.





The House upon the hill ‘to let’.


Driving car home that fateful night
Crawling along in winter rain, dazzled by headlight.
Rushed to get home, but got nowhere
I wanted to get back but nobody seemed to care.
As I drove up the hill with the house ‘to let’
My life changed, there you were – my silhouette.

In your window brushing your hair,
I had to guess, was it dark, was it fair?
Entranced, I fell in love
With the woman in the window above.
As I drove past the house upon the hill ‘to let’
Smile played on lip at thought of my silhouette

Now eager to crawl home in rain, sleet or snow
No hurry to get back, for you I want to know
To run loving fingers through your hair
To be with you, to be there
So every night there you were in the house upon the hill ‘to let’
My darling sweetheart, my silhouette

Winter now nearly passed, new fear what with Spring.
Afraid of light, what will the new season bring?
No longer a need for light in your room
The thought and fear of Spring does loom
For no longer shall I see you in the house upon the hill ‘to let’
No longer will you be my silhouette

Flowers bud, blossoms bloom, Spring is here
With daylight comes worst fear
Your beautiful form no longer to see
Winter has just started for me.
Gone is my love in the house upon the hill ‘to let’
I loved your never seen face, my dear silhouette

Then one day it came to pass
Flowers in full bloom, green was the grass
Crawling up the hill getting near
Your head out the window did appear
At last to see you after all the winter snow and gale
And to my horror Oh my god! She’s male.




Desert Faith

I came to this desert this empty barren place
The sun upon my face,
Sand scratches between my naked toes
As I wander my thoughts wander, the journey grows.

I thirst, oh how I thirst, skin dry, cracks upon my lip.
How I beg for a little faith, just a little sip
There is nought but the sun and sand
Left alone with my thoughts alone in this arid land

Delirious I converse in my head
Me, myself and I, surely this is the watershed
Talking to myself, my inner me
Having travelled so far into this land I barely see

As I mutter, dragging my pitiful soul, a stumble I do fell
Surely this isn’t it, I didn’t come here to find hell?
Despair takes hold. Hope; is there none to be had?
I dared to tread this land, am I to be mad?

Sanity questioned, blue-sky breeze unfurls drought
Clouds clear, gone is the doubt
Rising from knees, shaking off the sand
A warm glow, I am taken by the hand

Guided by the hand, filled I am with joy
My Father leads me like a boy
Taken from this arid land that is my mind
I discovered God was always there; it was my faith hard to find.




Summer in Canada 20.04.08

Candyfloss vapours scud across skies,
the smell of lilies the buzz of flies.
Distant shriek of excited child
Days of heat, nights of mild.

The sound of hockey stick against asphalt
Puck is hit with a belt
Shouts of joy from the next street up
Dog barks, sound of pup.

Humid sun causes haze.
Cows are out, horses graze
Joggers beat the beaten street
Slap slap, the sound of feet.

Chicken comes on smell of smoke
Glasses chink, rum and coke
The hot sizzle of cooking meat
Many a good thing next door to eat.

Ants soldier on their way
Bulbs rise from soil and clay
Maple leaf flies proud up high
Red flaps against blue sky


My Mother’s Cake

Caught red handed, my hand deep in the cake.
My poor mother, it’d taken her all day to bake.
Her own marzipan she had made,
And there was me, striking a morning raid.
Little fingers buried deep in the fruit
All I could think about was the edible loot.
I took so much I couldn’t eat it all,
For my brother I did call.
He helped to eat what I couldn’t conceal
We pigged ourselves on the fruit and mixed peel.
Mother’s horror at first blamed mice
Took one look at her sons and thought twice
My brother – he had the edge on me
He was older, but I was too young to foresee.
Being smart, he’d used toothpaste
I just stood there with an innocent face.
Our mouths were inspected inside.
My poor mother, she could have cried
I was caught red handed
Boy, did I cry when the slipper landed.
Dad’s slipper chased me up to bed
Where I was to go hungry and not to be fed.
In my bed I wept and lay
Whilst my brother went out to play
Looking back at this day we all smile
It’s been a few years since – quite a while
I’m a qualified chef now, and know how to bake
But nothing beats my mother’s cake.





Little Blue Bag

It’s a cold windy Fall day,
The leaves are blowing the sky is grey.
Coat for body, Hat for head
Fingers cold – they feel dead.

Walking – wind facing,
It chills me, it’s bracing
Head down, eyes wet
Other dog-walkers I have met

A commonality we all share
The little blue bags in our care
For once I am glad you did squat
Now my hands are nice and hot

I shan’t forget my gloves again
But I’m not one to complain.
When needed you came through
Now I carry your little bag of blue.




Don’t be Sad.

I walk with you but remain unseen.
Gently I guide you through life’s dream.
Me for you is a memory
Of the good times that used to be.

Guiltily I watch you looking sad
I also remember the good times we had
Please don’t cry for the memory of me
Close your eyes, and then you’ll see.

When you take in the orange sunrise
Listen to the gulls mournful cries
Feel the sea salt spray upon your face
I’m close by in God’s grace.

Please enjoy every sight and sound
Look up to the stars from the ground
Be happy to breathe the breath you do
For each breath my memory will continue

When the trees wave in the breeze
You take a walk through fallen leaves
When frost covers the hardened winter earth
Or when you hear the screams of new birth.

Please be happy for the times we shared
I loved you dearly I cared
Your tears they pain me to see
Especially as the cause of them is me.

I’m closer to you now than ever before
Free to love you all the more
For I now walk with you always
Throughout the night and the days



I Touch Your Face

I touch your face, we hold and embrace
There’s nowhere else I want to be
We kiss and smile, hold for a while
You mean so much to me.

A whisper in ear, gone all fear
We share each other’s mind
Your words are all mine, everything’s fine
Body and soul entwined

Your lines traced, my heart raced
Our bodies begin to amalgamate
I give to you what I’ve given so few
Together we share one fate.




Growing Old

I’m getting old, so I’m told.
Looking in the mirror, my father looks back at me.
I found my first grey hair you know
Not above, but down below.
I find it harder to see, or is it just me?
The wrong parts sagging down to my knee
Ears don’t hear so well now,
Glasses? Do say we shall.
Is it my fate? No more to bed late.
Aches in funny places I really hate.
Ooh, I groan when I do up my shoe.
More often times spent in the loo.
More pills and potions, creams and lotions
Hair slowly turning to snow.
Wrinkles and blotches now appear.
For growing old I do fear.
When I were a lad, things weren’t so sad
No ipod, Internet or cell phones
All that my father once said to me,
I find I now repeat in history.
I don’t like getting old I feel the cold
Hair grows in funny places.
Retirement is great so I’m told
But I can’t even do up my laces.


Depression 20.04.08

I walk in sunlight yet the path is black.
Trees are budding sun is shining.
But what I have done, I can’t put back.
Every silver cloud has a black lining.

Children shouting with innocent fun.
Airplanes flying to distant lands.
I feel cold in the warm sun
In despair I study my hands.

I’m young but I’m old.
In death I’m alive.
My head won’t do as it’s told.
The darkness is where I thrive.

Forever digging to get out of this hole
But there is no way out.
Staying alive no longer a goal.
The time has passed to scream and shout.

Please God help me to escape this cell.
I want to smell the flowers, I want to breath
Life in me is now a living hell.
I can’t take much more I want to leave.

At last I realise I am alive
Still here from my birth
Focus my life, give it drive
I have to find that sense of worth.

Writing these lines has cleared my head
I have a voice, make it loud
I’m breathing, I’m not yet dead
My family I have to make proud.

There is a time when we are in the pit
No way out, it’s all a dead-end
All that happens feels like shit.
For you this final verse I do send.

People love you that you will never know
Get over this hill and coast the slope
The people YOU love – let it show
For then – we all have hope.